DOT

It's a dot
...
These dots are meaningful
Only me knowing the dots
You never know
She never know
He never know
They never know
.
I'll start writing in this blog again
In the meaning that just me only know
The truth... dotdotdot
Behind everything

kind

Is it because I am too kind to them so they can treat me as they like?

Rindu

Kita rindu.
Mcm kita rindu abg adi dulu.
Knp Tuhan pertemukan kita dgn mereka?
Mereka yg hanya datang sekejap?
.
.
Already know the answers.. Tapi.. Hati kita sakit.
Kita tanak rasa sakit lagi.

Sakit hati kita

Sakit hati kita laa..
Kita mcm buat benda bodoh je pi citer kat fb..
Alaa.. Lantaklah..

Kita dah logout from fb, insta and twitter

Kita tanak post lagi yg bukan²..
Blog ni pun da berabuk.. Takpela kita berblog pulaklah..

Takde sapa nak baca dah

Cuma hati kita rasa sakit sgt..
Hensem ni ntahla.. Leh pulak dia kata i luv u 2
Tak pahamla hensem ni
Kita kena kuat semangat
Klu tak nnti² kita jugak yg sakit mcm sekarang

Da banyak kali taw..
Kita rindu dia..tapi dia tak rindu pun kat kita..
Harap² tak sapa baca blog ni dah..
Kita tanak org lain taw kita ada blog

Supaya org lain tak baca blog kita..
Yelaa.. Derang tahu kita de blog je.
Blog yg dah tak aktif..

Kita rindu hensem... Sedihlaaaaa

Unappreciated

Hari ni masuk hari ke3 tak whatsapp hensem.
I feel unappreciated. Everytime I je kena watsap dia dulu. Tu pun jawab sepatah².

He got many frens kan? Now been 2 days i tak watsap dia.. Dia pun senyap je. Haih.

Man is man. After this no more boifren. Let me be alone. Lone ranger till death.

Perasaan

Perasaan menaip blog takde.

84th UiTM convocation

Hati ini di asak² dengan perasaan nak konvo.
Semalam pi Ined and UiTM sesak sebab konvo.
84th convocation..


So I planned to bring the kids and mom and pakcik if they larat to come and wait.


Cuma... Terfikir.. Sapo nak jaga anak² nnti. Tapi rasanya Abang Syahir Hannan dah form3. Dah besar.. Baby pun dah 10 years old. So no need anyone to jaga them kot?


And if its really happen... This is one of the biggest achievement and reward to myself after the divorce.


And am happy and proud towards myself. Maybe am crying at that moment. Maybelaaa...


And nak lagi best bila hensem sama² grad. In shaa Allah... Amin. Hopefully.. We will share the greatest moment together..


#nak amik gambo ngan hensem je masa tu sambil pakai jubah convo

A happy man

Bos Kpop kat Mesia. As usual he always happy.
A happy man.. hehehe

Sabar

Orang kata nak dapat kan sesuatu kena sabar. Sekarang tengah praktikkan sabar tu.

Tapi klupun kita sabar, Tuhan kata apa yang kita nak bukan untuk kita, bukan yang kita perlukan.. tak dapat jugak kat kita. Yang ni sedih :(

Tapi segalanya bersifat sementara dalam dunia ni. Jadi bersederhanalah.. Tapi saya akan tetap sabar sampai Tuhan memberi kata putus untuk doa-doa saya.

Nama aku ke?

Tadi aku tgh mamam. Mamam mee hoon je pun, malas nk kuar kan.

Pehtu boss aku duduk sebelah balik dari lunch. Pehtu boss lagi besar datang cakap pasai ML. So aku makan je la.. Hahahaha.. Naseb arr derang nampak aku makan.

Pehtu dia mcm sebut nama aku. Pehtu aku pun kompiyus.. Derang sebut nama aku ke? Hahahaha... Perasan...

Mandarin

Hari ni boss duduk sebelah ai. Ai tak kisah pun. Tapi bila dia berleter pasal MasterList DiGi dalam bahasa mandarin.. Konfirm aku tak paham. Haih!

Stupid

Am stupid

Relationship part two

You know, now I got a special boyfriend who I mentioned in this blog by the name of "hensem".

Why I like him?

1. Because he is a good man.
2. Using low tone when speak. Soft spoken personlaa.. heheh
3. No drama.
4. Always giving me an explanation when I want the explanation.
5. And I think he's an honest man. (based on instinct)
6. Not a smoker.
7. And absolutely he is single, not a married person and don't have gf. (I mean here special gf becoz he always mentioned me as the special) *Is it really?
8. When am feeling insecure bout the relationship and always asked him something stupid becoz of the jealousy, he will explain everything till I can smile again. (This is due to he got a lot of girl fren.. someone he call her as mama laa.. mak laa.. err.. and a lot of girl fren la... terdiri juga dari makcik2 bukan anak dara je)
9. Can accept me of who I am.
10. Got a bit humor.

Oklah2.. enough of why I like him.

But.. sometimes when we lepaking with his frens.. I need not to reveal of my actual age and status. Make me think twice or thrice or double thrice why? Why I need to hide of who am really are? Oh nasib baik I nampak muda.. and when his fren ask me for the age.. he just said that I am younger than them. The truth is I am 36 and he is 31 and are they believe I am younger than them? Still confuse..

Yes we don't plan to get married. Errmm.. ekceli it is more to.. he does not want to marry me and deep inside I understand why. And deep inside I got a little disappointment but I need to accept it. Sebab aku sedar diri babe! 

Oh and he still looking for his future wife.. hurrmm. Thats why he got a lot of girl fren kot? He said he like to be fren with girl/woman because they are not speak in not good language or bad language like maki hamun or cakap kotorlaa... I can accept the reason but maybe you will think am stupid.. yes sometimes i feel stupid but I need happy. And am always said to him, if he dating someone else please inform me coz I will be gone forever from his life. Dont dare to find me againlah coz during the time I need happy as well and the happy wont come from him anymore kan?

And for the time being I am his priority kot? and will not be in future when he found someone else better than me... oh.. this made me sad. :(

Why I do a lot to make him happy? The answer is.. am happy when he is happy.. cuma sometimes when feeling insecure .. that dont make me happy..

Kan?

Nak masuk semester baru. 4 subjek as usual.
Baki tinggal lagi 4 subjek. Weyh.. Nak grad dah? Caye tak?

Tapi next sem tak sure nak amik 4 sekali or dua-dua..
Ekceli more to.. nak grad dengan hensem ke nak grad sendiri?
Hehehe..

But deep inside.. Tak sabar nak grad. Pehtu sambung master.
Nak sambung master sendiri ke .. nak sambung dengan hensem?
Ekekeke.. mestila dengan hensem.. Kan hensem?

Happy

Sometimes i wonder why i cannot happy like others . :(

Fakta

Ok.. semalam gua dah silap. Hehehe

Balik check tarikh bila nak pi court.. mmgla harini.

Yang surat tu untuk mahkamah rendah. Hari ni untuk mahkamah tinggi. Gua yang confuse. Gua mintak maaf la kat pejabat agama sebab kata tak efisyen.. huhu.. Ikutkan hati amarah sangat kan.. Tu la jadinya..

I dah taip panjang2 pasai buruk si sengal.. hmm.. bila pikir balik.. baik tutup aib orang kan. Nanti Allah tutup aib kita. So walau tak puas hati.. gua simpan je la dalam hati..

Semoga nasib berpihak kat ai la kan.. Inshaa Allah.. have faith.

Satu je la ai nak pesan, bukan dengan mengadu domba orang akan percaya kita. Nangis sana sini minta simpati. Menyebarkan fakta di palsukan. Ni bahaya takut jatuh fitnah. Tapi dengan fakta yang sahih. Mungkin sekarang orang tak nampak. Satu hari nanti orang akan nampak siapa di pihak yang benar. Sekian.

Aku harap kau sedar la sebelum mati. Aku tak kata aku baik.. tapi aku rasa aku lebih baik dari kau.. kihkih

And I do not have to worry coz I got plan A,B,C,D,E,F for life... :))))

Please laa...

Gua ni kan.. gua ni.. takde la baik sangat.. tapi.. gua ni nak elak jadi pemarah..

Pejabat agama postpone utk sebutan esok.. tapi gua je terima surat.. sang sengal tu tak terima..

Pelik pejabat agama ni.. Tak efisyen langsung..

Lepas tu sang sengal tu ade je alasan itu ini.. hntr sms kat gua nak soh mahkamah tunggu dia.. 

Gua malas nak layan. Gua nak buat diam ja.. Macam patung. Gua tengah nak marah ni.. Hangiiiinnn ja..

Satu lagi.. sang sengal ingat dia tu perdana menteri ka? VVVVVVIP ka nak soh mahkamah tunggu dia?

Tak kose ai nak cakap.. lantok ler sana. Dahla pakai sms. Kalau dia berkira dengan gua tanak bagi nafkah anak2 kat gua.. gua pun nak berkira gak. Satu sen untuk sms pun tanak kuar utk dia.. Dasyat tak gua klu da marah? Dah nyampah? Tapi klu dia bagi pun gua tetap berkira sebab dulu gua tak berkira.. Malas nak layan dia.. Lantakla sana esok dia pi court tunggang terbalik.. Kahkah ..

Relationship

I got no husben, but I have kids. Yes, still have boifren. Only one k.. not boifrenss..

He seems to be a nice person. Soft tone of voice when talking. Seems cool and chill. I like him.

I like him very much. Sometimes make funny face sent to me via whatsapp. Seems honest person.

Seems he doesn't want me to get hurt though I am 5 years older than him. He will reply the text when he is online.

But.. one thing and unsure, when he found someone else better than me.. single.. beautiful.. cute.. slim.. maybe he doesn't want layan me anymore kan? What do you think?

But, he seems enjoy and love when am accompanied him while study, while dating.. while.. while.. while..

Sometimes he need my opinion when choosing the outfit he gonna wear. Sometimes we talked about motorbike coz he love to ride his sport bike. PutR1 he named it as an awek no3.

He got 3 aweks at home. But he told me that I am his gf.. hehehe.. :))) I met the no.3 frequently. No.2 just met last 2 week. Never met the no.1

He once told me that he want to make everyone happy especially me.. especially me.. and he told me that I am his special among others.

The relationship journey still young but not dangerous.. happy and hopefully lucky.. 

Decide

Let Allah decide everything..
Let me be me..

Orang tak kata saya bodoh

Ada org kata my age is 27
First time tengok
Orang tu 24

Nampak tua tak best
Nampak muda rezeki

Ada orang jeles kata saya huduh
Hahahaha.. alhamdulillah
Saya tak kesah :)
Janji saya tak bodoh :))

Pegi Kuantan nek bas
Nek bas punyala lama
Hahaha.. stress nek bas

Eh ntah kenapa klu type stress mesti type gelak hahahaha sekali
Macam stress ke macam gembira

Doa vs limau

Mak pi umrah.. mmm.. harap semua baik-baik saja disana..
Mesti la mintak mak doa yang baik-baik kan
Pasal kerja, pasal rezeki, pasal anak-anak, pasal jodoh(jika ada)..

Lepas tu.. emm..
Lepas tu.. emm..
Lepas tu.. emm..

Limau banyak kat opis.. satgi nak mam limau.. hahahaha

Doa

Doa ibu yang terbaik. Yang terbaik doa ibu.

Plans' God is the best, the best is plan of God.

Tinggalkan segala-galanya pada Dia. Segala-galanya tinggalkan pada Dia.

Tapi jika kamu tertinggal di hati, in shaa Allah.. there is a way for us. :)

Keep calm

Bertenang niza.. Bertenang
Rasa nak menikah la..
Janji de husben.. Leh dak?

Exam Leave

Selepas seminggu cuti.. Rasa mcm nak jadi fulltime student balik..

Exam

Yeay. Esok exam... Yeay yeay yeay..

Gila ka apa nija nih..

Stress

Stress nak exam..
When you are not with me while am in struggle.. Dont expect i will be with u when am in my comfortable life...

Stress babe stress

Complicated

The man is complicated. Should no man in 2016?

Once he called me baby
Last nyte he called me luv and dearie
But the other time he mad at me.. Block me..
Then?

Some of you called me mommy
But I dont need to pretend like am your momma